BULLY BOY PRESS & CEDRIC'S BIX MIX -- DC.
THIS JUST IN!
CHENEY BUSTS A RHYME OR SOMETHUN'!
ORIGINAL GANGSTA DICK CHENEY, THE ORIGINAL OL' DIRTY BASTARD, CAME OUT SWINGING SUNDAY STATING THAT WAR CRITICS (OVER 63% OF THE AMERICAN ADULT POPULATION ACCORDING TO RECENT POLLS) WERE ENCOURAGING TERRORISM. SAID THE KRB/HALLIBURTON BLING-BLING MASTER, "SUGGESTIONS, FOR EXAMPLE, THAT WE SHOULD WITHDRAW U.S. FORCES FROM IRAQ SIMPLY FEED INTO THAT WHOLE NOTION, VALIDATES THE STRATEGY OF THE TERRORISTS."
SAID A FORMER WHITE HOUSE EMPLOYEE WHO STILL LURKS, AND SWEARS HE'S NOT SCOTTY MCCLELLAN, OF DA DICKSTER DUMPSTER DIVING REMARKS, "WHEN YOU AIN'T GOT NOTHING, YOU GOT NOTHING TO LOSE." WHEN TOLD HE WAS QUOTING BOB DYLAN, THE FORMER INSIDER SWORE THAT WAS NOT THE CASE AND BEGGED THAT THESE REPORTERS FIND A TOBY KEITH LYRIC TO SUBSTITUTE INSTEAD.
NO SOONER DID THE FORMER INSIDER BEGIN SWEATING THAN DA DICKSTER AND HIS DICK POSSE SWUNG BY.
"YEAH, I SAID IT, WHAT YOU GONNA F**KING DO ABOUT IT?" CHALLENGED DA DICKSTER AS HE ATTEMPTED TO THROW GANG SIGNS BUT ENDED UP LOOKING LIKE A DRUNKEN CROSSING GUARD. "I'LL SAY IT AGAIN. WORD TO YOUR MAMMA!"
WHEN THE SUBJECT WAS CHANGED TO THE ISSUE OF HIS POSSE, DER DICKSTER GRABBED HIS CROTCH AND EXCLAIMED, "THEY ALL UP IN MY JOCK! AT LEAST I AIN'T ROLLING WITH NO 'FART POSSE' WHICH IS WHAT OL' BULLY BOY GOT GOING ON. WORD."
WHEN THESE REPORTERS ASKED HIM OF STATEMENTS THAT THE AL-ANBAR PROVINCE IN IRAQ WAS PROBABLY LOST, DER DICKSTER BEGAN A LENGTHY SHOUT OUT TO HIS 'PROPERS' (WE BELIEVE ADOLF HITLER GOT NAMED CHECKED SOMEWHERE BETWEEN AUGSTO PINOCHET AND P.W. BOTHA) UNTIL HE GOT SO WORKED UP THAT THE DICK POSSE HAD TO PUT DA DICKSTER ON A GURNEY AND GIVE HIM WHAT WAS CALLED "A JUICE UP."
RISING OFF THE GURNEY, CHENEY SWORE HE WAS HE WAS CLASSIC '67 FORD MUSTANG AND NOT A GREMLIN OR PINTO HEADED FOR THE JUNKYARD CAUSING SHOUTS OF "WORD!" FROM HIS POSSE.
HE THEN ADDRESSED THE CLAIMS THAT AL-ANBAR WAS LOST.
"ANYONE WHO BE LAYING DOWN THAT LINE IS LIKE A TOTAL COMMIE, MOTHER F**KING, TERRORIST! YOU FEEL ME? YOU FEEL ME?" HE ASKED HAND EXTENDED IN SOME SORT OF LOW-FIVE EXPECTATION.
WHEN TOLD THE ONE MAKING THE STATEMENTS THAT AL ANBAR WAS PROBABLY LOST WAS MARINE COL. PETE DEVLIN, DA DICKSTER BEGAN TO SOB.
"WHO'S GONNA LOVE MY ASS?" HE SOBBED. "SERIOUSLY, WHO'S GOING SHOW THE DICK MAN JUST A LITTLE LOVING?"
A SOMBER POSSE THEN LED HIM AWAY.
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