The Dirty Depends (humor)

BULLY BOY PRESS & CEDRIC'S BIX MIX -- DC.

THIS JUST IN!

BULLY BOY HOLLERS "I AM A CROOK!"

IN PREPARATION FOR THEIR LAST ATTEMPT AT CAMPAIGN FOOL THE PEOPLE, THE G.O.P. HAS SCHEDULED "DIRTY DEPENDS" FOR THE ENTIRE MONTH OF SEPTEMBER AS THEY ATTEMPT TO SCARE AMERICANS INTO VOTING TO KEEP THEM IN THEIR CROOKED MAJORITY.

FIRST UP ON THE DIRTY DEPENDS TOUR, BULLY BOY ADMITS TO SECRET PRISONS -- AND THEY DON'T JUST MEAN THE CLOSET WITH THE HEAVY DOOR LAURA LOCKS HIM IN WHEN HE HITS THE SAUCE!

DEMANDING THAT HIS SPEECH BE TELEVISED LIVE, BULLY BOY ADMITTED THAT THIS IS NOT A DEMOCRACY AND THAT WE NO LONGER OPERATE UNDER THE ASSUMPTION OF INNOCENT UNTIL PROVEN GUILTY.

INSTEAD BULLY BOY GLOATED AND BOASTED OF RIPPING THE CONSTITUTION TO SHREDS AS HE STUCK HIS UGLY ASS-FACE AT THE CAMERA AND DECLARED, "DIRTY DEPENDS! DIRTY DEPENDS! WE HAVE NO FRIENDS! SO WE WILL SCARE YOU! WE WILL, WE WILL SCARE YOU! SCARE YOU! WE WILL, WE WILL SCARE YOU! SCARE YOU! WE WILL, WE WILL --"

STOMPING FROM THE PODIUM, BULLY BOY PURPOSEFULLY STOMPED ACROSS THE ROOM ON A CARPET ALBERT GONZALES HAD DESIGNED FOR THE EVENT USING SCRAPS FROM THE ORIGINAL U.S. CONSTITUTION.

ONE ANTIDOTE TO "DIRTY DEPENDS," VIA THE COMMON ILLS:

In NYC, Friday September 15, Saturday September 16 and Sunday September 17 (7:00 pm each night), The People Speak directed by Will Pomerantz and Rob Urbinati. This is a workshop adaptation of Howard Zinn and Anthony Arnove's Voices of a People's History of the United States. The workshop will take place at The Culture Project's Bleecker Street Theater on 45 Bleecker Street. Tickets are ten dollars and can be ordered online here or here or purchased in person at the box office (box office does not take ticket orders). For those in NYC or that will be during those dates, click here for a map. The presentation is part of the Impact Festival.


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