Super Freaking Don't Leave Time for Much Else (humor)

BULLY BOY PRESS & CEDRIC'S BIX MIX -- DC.

THIS JUST IN!

CONDI PUTS ASIDE HER READING AGAIN!

PUTTING ASIDE HER READING AND OBLIGATIONS, SECRETARY OF STATE AND SUPER FREAK CONDI RICE TOLD THE NEW YORK POST THAT BILL CLINTON, THE LAST ELECTED PRESIDENT AS HISTORY BOOKS WILL SHOW, DID NOTHING TO FIGHT TERRORISM.

WHEN CONTACTED BY THESE REPORTERS IN HER OFFICE TODAY, CONDI WAS SPINNING THE GLOBE ATTEMPTING TO FIGURE OUT WHICH COUNTRY TO ATTACK NEXT.

"I FEEL LIKE IRAN TODAY," SHE SAID GRINNING.

DID SHE REALLY FEEL THAT THE CLINTON ADMINISTRATION LEFT THE BULLY BOY'S ADMINISTRATION WITH QUOTE: "NO ACTIONABLE PLAN"?

"YES, I DO BELIEVE THAT," SAID RICE WHO DISPLAYED A CATALOGUE PAGE TO THESE REPORTERS ASKING "WHAT DO YOU THINK OF ASTROGLIDE?"

ADMITTING WE WEREN'T AWARE OF IT, ELICTING CHORTLES FROM CONDI RICE, ONE OF US POINTED TO A PILE OF DOCUMENTS ON HER DESK.

SECRETARY RICE NOTED SHE WAS BUSY AS SHE GRABBED HER CREDIT CARD AND BEGAN DIALING BUT TOLD US WE COULD LOOK THROUGH THE DOCUMENTS, "JUST LET ME KNOW IF THERE'S ANYTHING INTERESTING IN THERE, OKAY?"

CONDI RICE BEGAN SPEAKING TO THE PERSON ON THE OTHER END OF THE PHONE, "YES, I AM INTERESTED IN THE BLOW UP DOLLS ADVERTISED ON PAGE 32. TELL ME, ARE THEY DURABLE?"

AS THESE REPORTERS WENT THROUGH THE PILE, FROM BOTTOM TO TOP, CONDI RICE EXPLAINED THE SORT OF USES SHE WOULD PUT A BLOW UP DOLL THROUGH.

"WELL I THINK HALIBURTON COULD MAKE A DURABLE ONE!" CONDI YELLED INTO THE PHONE BEFORE SLAMMING IT DOWN.

SMILING, SHE TURNED TO US AND INQUIRED IF WE HAD FOUND ANYTHING. THESE REPORTERS HANDED HER A PDB.

"BIN LADEN DETERMINED TO STRIKE IN THE UNITED STATES," CONDI RICE READ ALOUD. "HMM. THAT'S INTERESTING. I SHOULD PROBABLY CALL SOMEONE ABOUT THIS . . . OH, LOOK AT THE DATE! AUGUST 8TH. 2001! THAT'S OLD NEWS NOW."

SMILING, CONDI RICE CRUMPLED THE BRIEF, TOSSED IN THE TRASH CAN AND AGAIN EXPLAINED THAT THE BULLY BOY AND HIS ADMINISTRATION HAD DONE EVERYTHING IN THE POWER TO PREVENT 9-11.

"I SHOULD KNOW," CONDI SAID SHOWING THESE REPORTERS OUT OF HER OFFICE, "I WAS THE NATIONAL SECURITY ADVISOR BACK THEN."


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