Wednesday, September 13, 2006

Tore up from the floor up Novak says "Bring It!" (humor)

BULLY BOY PRESS & CEDRIC'S BIX MIX -- DC.

THIS JUST IN!

FRESH FROM LAST WEEK'S CATFIGHT, ROBERT NOVAK SAYS 'BRING IT!'

TORE UP FROM THE FLOOR UP ROBERT NOVAK IS STILL MENDING BRUISES FROM LAST WEEK'S CAT FIGHT WITH THE CORPORATE WORLD MUSE AND SOMETIME NEW YORK TIMES CONTRIBUTOR THOMAS FRIEDMAN.

AS MOST MAY KNOW, FRIEDMAN FELT NOVAK WAS TREADING ON HIS OWN DESIRES TO DRESS UP AS MARILYN MONROE WHEN NOVAK SHOWED UP AT THE HOME OF THOMAS AND BETINNA FRIEDMAN WEARING A BLONDE WIG AND BLUE EVENING DRESS ("STRAPLESS, THAT HUGGED HIM TOO TIGHTLY AROUND THE CHEST AND SEEMED TO RIDE UP INTO HIS ARM PITS WHICH PROBABLY EXPLAINED THE STAINS").

FRIEDMAN IMMEDIATELY LEPT TO THE CONCLUSION THAT ROBERT NOVAK WAS ATTEMPTING TO BE A "YOUNG MARILYN" MONROE.

IN FACT TORE UP FROM THE FLOOR UP NOVAK JUST WANTED TO WALK A MILE IN VALERIE PLAME'S HEELS AND FEEL WHAT IT WAS LIKE TO BE LOVED AND BEAUTIFUL.

THE CAT FIGHT BETWEEN FRIEDMAN AND NOVAK RESULTED IN MULTIPLE BRUISES FOR NOVAK AND 3 LOST TEETH AS WELL AS ONE NASTY SCRATCH ON FRIEDMAN'S RIGHT, FRONT HOOF.

FRESH FROM THAT CAT FIGHT, NOVAK'S SPOILING FOR ANOTHER AND SNARLING 'BRING IT!' TO RICHIE ARMITAGE, THE NEW BARBARA HOWAR OF THE D.C. SET.


PUTTING HIS WORDS WHERE THE FISH GETS WRAPPED, NOVAK HAS WRITTEN: "FIRST, ARMITAGE DID NOT, AS HE NOW INDICATES, MERELY PASS ON SOMETHING HE HAD HEARD AND THAT HE 'THOUGHT' MIGHT BE SO. RATHER, HE IDENTIFIED TO ME THE CIA DIVISION WHERE MRS. WILSON WORKED, AND SAID FLATLY THAT SHE RECOMMENDED THE MISSION TO NIGER BY HER HUSBAND, FORMER AMB. JOSEPH WILSON. SECOND, ARMITAGE DID NOT SLIP ME THIS INFORMATION AS IDLE CHITCHAT, AS HE NOW SUGGESTS. HE MADE CLEAR HE CONSIDERED IT ESPECIALLY SUITED FOR MY COLUMN."

ARMITAGE ALLEGEDLY RESPONDED, "HOW DARE HE ACCUSE ME OF NON-CHITCHAT. I'M THE CHITCHATTER OF D.C. I STOP IN AT BEAUTY PARLORS JUST TO HONE MY SKILLS. I'VE CHIT-CHATTED WITH THE BEST, I'VE CHITCHATTED WITH THE WORST. AND LET ME JUST SAY THAT ROBERT NOVAK IS NO RONA BARRETT!"

WITH THAT, ARMITAGE EXCUSED HIMSELF NOTING THAT HE WAS RUSHING OFF TO GO JUMP INTO THE SUPREME COURT FOUNTAIN.

WHEN GIVEN THE CHANCE FOR A REBUTAL, NOVAK SAID, "RICHIE IS ONE CRAZY B**CH."





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