Cedric's Big Mix

Monday, March 16, 2026

Vance is in total agreement with Chump

BULLY BOY PRESS & CEDRIC'S BIG MIX & THOMAS FRIEDMAN IS A GREAT MAN & ANN'S MEGA DUB & THE WORLD TODAY JUST NUTS & THE COMMON ILLS -- THE KOOL AID TABLE

AFTER NOT SUPPORTING A WAR ON IRAN FOR YEARS, JD VANCE IS NOW STRANGELY SILENT. WE MET WITH HIM AT THE WHITE HOUSE TODAY.

THERE ARE RUMORS THAT YOU'RE SPEAKING PRIVATELY AND OFF THE RECORD ABOUT YOUR OPPOSITION TO THE IRAN WAR. ANY TRUTH TO THOSE RUMORS?

"I'VE JUST BEEN STAYING BUSY TRYING OUT NEW EYE LINER," MISS SASSY JD TOLD THESE REPORTERS. "PETER THIEL LIKES ME TO LOOK EGYPTIAN. YOU KNOW, ELIZABETH TAYLOR CLEOPATRA EYES."

SO YOU AREN'T BOTHERED BY THE WAR?

"GOODNESS NO," VANCE INSISTED. "I HITCHED MY WAGON TO DONALD CHUMP AND I HAVE NOT REGRETTED IT. EVER. NOT ONE DAY. NOT ONE MINUTE. NOT ONE SECOND. NOT ONE TWINKEE OF A SECOND."

SO YOU HAVEN'T BEEN PUT IN A BIND?

"WELL I LIKE MY SPANX. I LIKE THE SUPPORT THEY GIVE ME AND HOW THEY SLIM MY WAISTLINE. I SLIP ON A PAIR OF SPANKX AND BOOM! I'VE GOT MY COLLEGE FIGURE BACK. MY DROOPY FAT ASS? THE SPANX PULLS IT UP. MY SPARE TIRE? THE SPANX PULLS IT IN. I THINK THE WORLD WOULD BE A BETTER PLACE IF WE ALL WORE SPANX. TO ME, THAT'S MORE IMPORTANT THAN WORLD PEACE, ALTERNATIVES TO FOSSIL FUELS OR ERECTYLE DYSFUNCTION -- AND BELIEVE ME, I KNOW ABOUT E.D. I REALLY KNOW ABOUT E.D."

NO, WE SAID, AREN'T YOU IN A BIND NOW THAT CHUMP HAS STARTED A WAR WITH IRAN? YOU OPPOSED FORIEGN WARS.

"I ONLY OPPOSE FOREIGN WARS UNDER DUMB PRESIDENTS AND CHUMP IS NO DUMMY. DON'T YOU THINK HE'S DREAMY? I WISH I HAD ORANGE SKIN. AND I WISH I COULD WEAR MAKE UP ON MY HANDS."

SO THERE'S NO PROBLEM BETWEEN THE TWO OF YOU OVER THIS WAR?

"YOU ARE TRYING TO DRIVE A WEDGE BETWEEN ME AND MY MAN!" MISS SASSY JD HUFFED. "THAT'S LIKE TRYING TO COME BETWEEN MY SPANX AND MY ASS. NOTHING COMES BETWEEN EITHER. THIS INTERVIEW IS OVER. "

FROM THE TCI WIRE:

THE NEW YORK TIMES notes this morning, "Oil prices rose and stocks were mixed on Monday on persistent concerns that surging energy costs stemming from the U.S.-Israeli war with Iran could drive inflation higher across the world. The price of Brent crude, the global benchmark for oil, was about $103 a barrel on Monday, trading near the day’s highs. On Friday, Brent settled at $103.14 a barrel, the highest settlement level since August 2022. It gained more than 11 percent last week."

Chump spent 2025 antagonizing our long standing allies -- France, England, Germany, Italy, Spain, Canada, go down the list. And now? David McAfee (RAW STORY) notes, "President Donald Trump called for international cooperation on Iran policy in a Truth Social post, arguing that securing the Strait of Hormuz should be a collective responsibility rather than falling solely on the United States." He started this war and now? Now he needs the help of US allies. Russia's sold him out. They're feeding intl to Iran. Chump needs help. Big time. His request did not go well. David McAfee notes:

"The United States of America has beaten and completely decimated Iran, both Militarily, Economically, and in every other way," Trump wrote, before shifting to call for international cooperation. He urged countries reliant on oil transit through the strait to "take care of that passage," promising substantial U.S. assistance and coordination to ensure "everything goes quickly, smoothly, and well." Trump framed the effort as a long-overdue "team" approach that would foster "Harmony, Security, and Everlasting Peace!"

The post drew immediate online backlash, with critics highlighting what they saw as a glaring contradiction: claiming total Iranian defeat while seeking help to secure the vital waterway, through which roughly one-fifth of global oil flows.

Professor Phillips P. O'Brien, a noted historian and strategist, described the message as "a work of art" worthy of preservation. He pointed out the irony: if Iran's military capability is "100% destroyed," why plead with frequently insulted allies to intervene in the Gulf?

In other developments over the weekend, Malcolm Ferguson (THE NEW REPUBLIC) noted:

The U.S. is deploying to the Middle East a Marine expeditionary unit that can conduct ground operations if needed.

Multiple outlets reported Friday that the amphibious assault ship USS Tripoli, which is based in Japan, is being sent to the Middle East, along with multiple other warships and fighter jets. The attached 31st Marine Expeditionary Unit has thousands of Marines and sailors and can offer land, amphibious, and aviation support.

Thomas Gibbons-Neff and Eric Schmitt (NEW YORK TIMES) added:

The deployment of about 2,500 Marines to the Middle East represents a new phase in the two-week-old war in Iran, as Iranian forces increase their attacks on the Strait of Hormuz.

The unit, officially known as the 31st Marine Expeditionary Unit, according to two U.S. defense officials, will be in an unusual position given the problem vexing the Pentagon: the Iranian military’s ability to mine the strait, a narrow waterway through which a fifth of the world’s oil passes.

U.S. airstrikes have forced the Iranians to forego their larger naval vessels and deploy fast boats carrying mines that can evade aircraft. These boats would likely launch from an archipelago of islands closer to the strait.

With the arrival of the 31st Marine Expeditionary Unit from the Indo-Pacific region in the coming days, the Pentagon will be able to quickly launch raids onto the islands with infantry Marines who will have logistics and air support, said a retired senior defense official with knowledge of the unit’s capabilities.

Monday, March 16, 2026

Vance is in total agreement with Chump

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Cedric's Big Mix